Most people drift into exclusivity and then argue about what was implied. Replace the vibe check with a calendar and a count so you know exactly when to lock in or let go.
Framework
Step 1 - Build a 2 date per 10 days baseline
Complete 2 dates within the first 10 days with a 3 - 5 day gap between
Keep texting at 6 to 12 messages per day total or switch to one 10 minute call
Step 2 - State intent by Day 14
Use a direct check after 3 dates or by Day 14 whichever comes first
If they sidestep twice in 48 hours, pause scheduling until clarity is given
Step 3 - Decide exclusivity by Day 21
You want 5 of these 7 by Day 21: plans initiated both ways, response time under 6 hours, one values talk lasting 20 minutes, weekend time twice, no overlap with other active dates, future anchor plan on the calendar, warm check ins every 2 to 3 days
If fewer than 5 of 7 by Day 21, continue casually for 7 days while you meet others or exit
Standards on paper: 3 non-negotiables, 5 dealbreakers, 2 green flags
Cadence: Replies in 2 - 6 hours, follow-up in 24 hours, dates spaced 3 - 5 days
Quick Wins
Write your 3 sentence intent in under 5 minutes tonight
Ask 4 questions about time, priorities, expectations, and boundaries
End the third date at minute 150 and leave first
Confirm a hold for the next 7 days within 12 hours
Script: “I like our pace and I am ready for exclusivity. Are you open to being off the apps with me starting next week?”
If - Then Fallbacks
If a reply takes over 24 hours twice in a week, then slow cadence to match for 14 days or exit
If scheduling slips beyond 2 reschedules in 21 days, then pause dates for 7 days or stop
If a boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit
If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then continue for 7 more days and reassess
If planning exceeds 10 messages per plan, then switch to a single 5 minute call or exit
Closer
Exclusivity is not a vibe. It is a date count and a time stamp you can point to without debate.
One Metric: By Day 21 - 3 dates complete and 5 of 7 checks pass. Else keep casual or exit.
Proof over promises.
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