Most first dates drag or sprint and both kill momentum. Use a time cap and a simple split so the date ends on a high and leads to a clear plan.
Framework
Step 1 - Use a 90 minute cap with a 70 - 20 - 10 split
First 60 minutes for stories and questions at a 1 to 1 talk ratio and no more than 2 drinks total
Last 30 minutes split: 20 minutes for lighter topics, 10 minutes for logistics and exit plan
Step 2 - Track 4 signals in real time
On time arrival, phone put away within 60 seconds, eye contact above 60 percent, and mutual question count at or above 6 each
If any 2 of 4 are missing by minute 45, slow the pace and plan to end at minute 75
Step 3 - Decide at minute 80
You want 4 of 6 signs by minute 80: punctuality, balanced talk time, shared laughter twice, curiosity questions, comfort with pauses, and clear interest in a second meet
If fewer than 4 of 6, exit at minute 90 with a polite close and no follow up
Standards on paper: 3 non-negotiables, 5 dealbreakers, 2 green flags
Cadence: Replies in 2 - 6 hours, follow-up in 24 hours, dates spaced 3 - 5 days
Quick Wins
Choose a spot within 15 minutes of home and set a 90 minute timer
Ask 5 questions on work, friends, weekends, values, and plans in 90 days
End the date at minute 90 even if it is great
Confirm a follow up window within 12 hours with 2 time options
Script: “Thanks for tonight 6 to 7 30 was the right pace for me. Free Tue 7 or Thu 6 for a short part two?”
If - Then Fallbacks
If they are 10 minutes late without a heads up once, then proceed and cap at 60 minutes
If reply gaps exceed 12 hours twice, then match cadence for 7 days or exit
If a boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit
If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then schedule date 2 within 5 days
If planning exceeds 10 messages, then switch to a single 5 minute call or exit
Closer
A great first date ends with time left in the tank. Cap the clock, count the signals, and let anticipation do the work.
One Metric: By day 5 - 1 ninety minute date complete and 4 of 6 signs by minute 80. Else exit.
Proof over promises.
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