Mismatch is not about feelings. It is about tempo and load. Set hard caps and counts and the relationship evens out within two weeks.
Framework
Step 1 - Set equal load for 14 days
Split planning 50 - 50 by count: each person proposes 2 plans in 14 days
If one person carries more than 60 percent of plans or payments by Day 14, scale back access for 7 days
Step 2 - Install the 3 - 2 - 1 contact rhythm
Max 3 texts in a row before a reply, 2 calls per week, 1 date every 3 - 5 days
If replies stretch beyond 12 hours twice in 7 days without notice, reduce texting to one daily check in for a week
Step 3 - Run the alignment check on Day 10
Score 6 signals on Day 10 punctuality initiative clarity warmth reciprocity recovery from hiccups and require 4 of 6
If under 4, pause escalations for 14 days and remove sleepovers until the score rebounds to 4
Standards on paper: 3 non-negotiables, 5 dealbreakers, 2 green flags
Cadence: Replies in 2 - 6 hours, follow-up in 24 hours, dates spaced 3 - 5 days
This framework caps overgiving, forces equal proposals inside 14 days, and makes attraction feel balanced instead of needy or distant by Week 2 (tighten this with the The 90-Day Filter Playbook).
Quick Wins
In 8 minutes, draft 2 plans you can afford calendar and cash checked
Ask 3 questions about their calendar commute and budget to size the plan
End the next date at minute 85 while it is warm to leave pull
Confirm the next plan within 18 hours with one time plus one backup
Script: “Let us keep it even for two weeks I will propose one and you propose one then we choose together”
If - Then Fallbacks
If you propose 3 times without one returned by Day 10, then stop proposing for 7 days
If lateness exceeds 15 minutes twice in 14 days, then coffee only until punctual for 2 dates
If boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit
If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then continue for 21 days
If scheduling chaos beyond 7 messages, then switch to a 10 minute call or exit
Closer
Energy mismatch is solved by equal counts and clear clocks. Balance the inputs and the temperature steadies.
One Metric: By Day 14 - each proposes 2 plans and 4 of 6 signals pass. Else scale back or exit.
Proof over promises.
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