Early dates stall because the pace is random. Lock the tempo to reveal real interest in days, not months.
Framework
Step 1 - 2 by 10 rule
Aim for 2 low-key dates in 10 days max to check momentum
If you cannot schedule 1 concrete plan in 7 days, exit or downgrade to casual
Step 2 - Micro-investment checks
Track 3 signals per date: on time, asks 1 question back, confirms within 6 hours
If 2 of 3 are missing twice in a row, pause for 7 days before offering another plan
Step 3 - Green light or slow roll
By Date 2, you should see 4 of 6 signals total: punctuality twice, shared planning once, physical warmth once, curiosity twice
If you are at 3 or fewer by Day 14, cut frequency to 1 invitation per 10 days or exit
Standards on paper: 3 non-negotiables, 5 dealbreakers, 2 green flags
Cadence: Replies in 2 - 6 hours, follow-up in 24 hours, dates spaced 3 - 5 days
Quick Wins
Do a calendar sweep in 8 minutes and mark 3 evening slots
Ask 3 questions about their week, energy, and plans for the next 7 days
End the date at minute 75 even if it is going well
Confirm with a plan in 12 hours if the vibe was mutual
Script: “Had fun and I’m free Thu 7 or Sat 6 pick one and I’ll lock it in”
If - Then Fallbacks
If replies average over 8 hours for 3 messages, then switch to 1 message per day or exit
If scheduling delay goes past 2 attempts, then pause for 10 days
If boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit
If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then continue for 14 days
If scheduling chaos beyond 12 messages, then switch or exit
Closer
Pacing is a filter, not a vibe test. Set the rhythm and let their energy match it or fall away.
One Metric: By Day 10 - 2 dates complete and 4 of 6 checks pass. Else exit.
Proof over promises.
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