Early chemistry lies and patterns tell the truth. Use a tight second date structure and binary checks so you can move forward or cut losses without drama.
Framework
Step 1 - Pre screen within 24 hours of date 1
Look for 3 of 5 basics: on time, respectful tone, questions asked, follow up within 12 hours, plan energy above 5 out of 10
If fewer than 3 of 5, do not schedule date 2 in the next 14 days
Step 2 - Run a 100 minute second date
First 70 minutes for shared activity with phones away for 90 percent of the time
Last 30 minutes for values and logistics with a clear check on interest level from 1 to 10
Step 3 - Decide by Day 7
You want 4 of these 6 by Day 7: plans initiated both ways, response time under 6 hours, one future anchor on the calendar, specific recall of a prior detail, comfortable pauses, exit that ends on time
If fewer than 4 of 6 by Day 7, pause scheduling for 14 days or exit cleanly
Standards on paper: 3 non-negotiables, 5 dealbreakers, 2 green flags
Cadence: Replies in 2 - 6 hours, follow-up in 24 hours, dates spaced 3 - 5 days
Quick Wins
Confirm the second date within 48 hours in 6 messages or fewer
Ask 4 specific questions on family, time use, money habits, and conflict style
End the date at minute 100 even if it is great
Send a same night 2 line recap and propose two windows inside 72 hours
Script: “Enjoyed today 5 to 6 40 at the gallery then tea. Free Wed 7 or Fri 6 for a short part three?”
If - Then Fallbacks
If replies stretch beyond 12 hours twice in 5 days, then match cadence for 7 days or exit
If scheduling slips past 2 reschedules in 10 days, then pause for 14 days or stop
If a boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit
If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then continue for 7 days and reassess
If planning exceeds 10 messages per plan, then switch to one 5 minute call or exit
Closer
Second dates confirm pace and pattern. Count behaviors, keep the clock, and let the numbers make the call.
One Metric: By Day 7 - 2 dates complete and 4 of 6 checks pass. Else pause or exit.
Proof over promises.
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