Spot attachment mismatch in 14 days

Circle the top 3 from each column: anxious signs are double texting, rapid reassurance asks, and urgency after 6 to 12 hour gaps; avoidant signs are slow replies over 12 hours, last minute plan shifts twice in 10 days, and topic changes when feelings appear

If 2 or more anxious signs and 2 or more avoidant signs show up across you both in 7 days, label mismatch and move to a structured pace

Use a fixed cadence: 1 daily check in before 9 pm, total 8 to 12 messages per day, and one 10 minute call every 3 days

Schedule 2 dates in 10 days with 3 to 5 day spacing and a hard 90 minute cap to test stability

You want 4 of these 6 by Day 14: reply windows under 6 hours on average, zero panic after gaps, plans honored at 90 percent, one values talk of 20 minutes, warmth during mild conflict twice, and no boundary breaches

If fewer than 4 of 6 or any boundary breach, downgrade to casual or exit in 24 hours

Identify your top 2 triggers in under 5 minutes and write the opposite action

Ask 3 questions about alone time needs, weekend rhythm, and repair style

End hard talks at minute 15 and schedule a 30 minute slot within 48 hours

Confirm the next 2 dates within 12 hours after a good exchange

Script: “I like you and want a steady pace. One daily check in, a short call every 3 days, and two 90 minute dates in the next 10 days. Workable?”

If replies exceed 12 hours twice in 7 days, then switch to one nightly message for 7 days or exit

If reassurance is requested more than 3 times in 48 hours, then pause for 24 hours and resume at one check in daily

If a boundary is crossed once, then immediate exit

If 2 green signals and 0 dealbreakers, then continue for 14 days and reassess

If scheduling chaos beyond 10 messages per plan, then switch to a single 5 minute call or exit