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The voice note starts with a laugh.
Then the words: “I just need a little space right now.”
Your stomach drops before it ends.
They’re not gone.
But they’re not with you either.
And somehow, the in-between hurts more than silence.
Call it the Holding Pattern Rule.
Some people don’t want to lose you.
But they’re not ready to choose you.
So they soften the exit by keeping just enough contact to feel close.
That “checking in” text?
That quick like on your Story?
That “hope you’re good” out of nowhere?
It’s not always malice. But it is control.
They don’t want to be forgotten.
They want the door cracked open.
If you're always hoping the check-in means they’re ready again - you’ll stay stuck.
Because what they’re giving is not clarity. It’s comfort.
For them, not you.
You’ll learn how to move through this inside The 90-Day Filter Playbook - 25% off (filters out stuck loops fast).
Here’s what to try instead:
Track what they do when they feel you pulling back
Notice if their “reach outs” come with a plan or just a ping
Ask yourself: is this helping me feel wanted, or just wanted enough?
Script: “Take the time you need. I’ll step out fully so it’s clear.”
If it’s real, space brings resolution - not more fog.
You can apply this inside Signals+ - 2-day free trial (debrief checklist + premium posts).
Put the phone down.
Let their absence speak louder than their crumbs.
Proof over promises.
NoMixedSignals.